


Burrvestigation

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [11]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 18:51:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6670687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They want answers, so Alex sets out to find some.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burrvestigation

**Author's Note:**

> AT THE MIDDLE TO THE END THERE'S A WEIRD SPACE INCONSISTENCY IDK IDK

**aaron colder than ice** : what does this even mean

**little lion** : I have,,,no idea what,,,you're,,,,,talking about

**aaron colder than ice** : there's a hand written letter sticky tacked to my desk in your handwriting and all it says is for me to tell me the truth about me and theodosia or else there'll be "consequences"

**little lion** : let's say,,that hypothetically,,,,this was me

**little lion** : would it,,,convince you

**little lion** : to tell me,,,,things

**aaron colder than ice** : no

**little lion** : COME ON

**aaron colder than ice** : I'm not sharing the details of my personal life with you

**little lion** : C O M E  O N THIS WILL BE THE APOLOGY FOR TELLING ME TO SHUT UP ON OUR FIRST DATE

**aaron colder than ice** : there are so many things wrong with that statement

**aaron colder than ice** : the first thing being that is Not what I told you

**aaron colder than ice** : the second being that it wasn't a date because I can't handle you

**little lion** : I didn't know you could even double text

**aaron colder than ice** : the third and last being that I don't think I should have to apologize

**little lion** : rude

**aaron colder than ice** : we're done with this conversation

  
\---

**little lion** : BURR WONT TELL ME ANYTHING

**laf** : WH Y

**little lion** : "IM NOT SHARING THE DETAILS OF MY PERSONAL LIFE WITH YOU"

**johnn** : HOW EXACTLY DID HE SAY IT

**little lion** : IN TEXT FORM WITH ALL LOWERCASE LETTERS AND A LOT OF IMPLIED BITTERNESS

**johnn** : SO BASICALLY THE FORMAT OF A L L OF HIS TEXT MESSAGES

**little lion** : YEAH PRETTY MUCH

**more like HUNKules** : I think you should leave him alone

**little lion** : WHO EVEN A R E YOU

**more like HUNKules** : SOMEONE WHO IS TRYING TO ACT LIKE THEYRE NOT DYING TO KNOW BUT IS VERY QUICKLY LOSING HOPE

**little lion** : IM INTERROGATING JMADS NOW

**johnn:** oh no

**laf** : he has done nothing to you

**laf** : for the most part

**little lion** : he's dating jefferson

**laf** : go get him

**little lion** : I love you so much

  
\---

**little lion:** QUICK QUESTION

**jmadzzz:** never once has this ended well

**little lion** : YEAH WHATEVER

**little lion** : DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BURR AND THEODOSIA BARTOW

**jmadzzz** : I know that they're involved if that's what you're asking

**little lion** : INVOLVED HOW AND WHEN DID IT START

**jmadzzz** : shouldn't you be asking him about this

**little lion** : I DID AND HE WOULDNT ANSWER ME AND BECAUSE HE WAS/IS IN YOUR AND TJEFFS LITTLE SLIME CREW I IMAGINE YOU WOULD KNOW SOMETHING

**jmadzzz** : alex I know I try to keep these conversation civil so that I can exit them at any time but

**jmadzzz** : slime crew?

**little lion** : ITS NOT IMPORTANT ANYMORE IT JUST MIGHT HAVE BEEN YOUR CONTACT NAMES IN MY PHONE FOR LIKE EIGHT MONTHS

**little lion** : SO DO YOU KNOW OR DONT YOU ABOUT BURR AND BARTOW

**jmadzzz** : I don't

**jmadzzz** : and frankly I think it's funny that you think burr would trust me of all people

**little lion** : dear lord jesus christ almighty on high he has a sense of humor

**jmadzzz** : goodbye

  
**little lion** : it's been fun

  
\---

  
**little lion** : madison was a bust

  
**laf** : I NEED TO KNOW

  
**johnn** : I have like twenty more condoms left I can do a heist part 2

  
**little lion** : why do you have them in your desk

  
**johnn** : I overestimated the amount of mac and cheese condoms I could stuff into tjeffs desk

  
**little lion** : god bless

  
**johnn** : what were you thinking

  
**little lion** : that you overestimated the amount of times we would go in your office upon us all accepting our respective places at this job

  
**johnn** : that would make these condoms like three years old who do you think I am

  
**little lion** : i don't think you want me to answer that 

  
\---

  
*********:** is this Alexander Hamilton

  
**little lion** : yes??

  
**little lion** : this is creepy who is this

  
*********** : I'm theodosia bartow

  
**little lion** : doNT KILL ME

  
**miss bartow** : whY WOULD I DO THAT

  
**little lion** : you're typing in all caps

**miss bartow** : yes???

  
**little lion** : BURR IS ????? A WOMAN WHO TYPES IN ALL CAPS THIS IS A TRUE MIRACLE

  
**miss** **bartow** : why the question marks  
  
**little lion** : he told me that you're his girlfriend but like

  
**miss bartow** : like??

  
**little lion** : he woNT TELL ME HOW YOU GUYS GOT TOGETHER OR IF YOURE LIKE SERIOUSLY DATING AND BECAUSE ME AND MY SIGNIFICANT OTHERS ARE LITERALLY SO THIRSTY FOR DRAMA WE ARE DOING A FULL BURRVESTIGATION

  
**miss bartow** : I was here to actually ask you why you were asking around about me and him but you've just told me the reason

  
**miss bartow** : so I'm going to give you the answers

  
**little lion** : REALLY

  
**miss bartow** : unfortunately

  
**little lion** :  why do you seem like vaguely human and like not,,,,someone who would date,,,,slime crew member #3

  
**miss bartow** : slime crew???

  
**little lion** : I should stop talking about that

  
**miss bartow** : that's probably in your best interest

  
**little lion** : OKAY SO YOU WERE GOING TO GIVE ME ANSWERS

  
**miss bartow** : RIGHT OKAY SO

  
**miss bartow** : BASICALLY MY FIANCEE WAS OUT OF THE COUNTRY

  
**little lion** : this is how most bad things start

  
**miss bartow** : AND BURR WAS LIKE HEYY

  
**miss bartow** : AND I WAS LIKE OKAY SO,,,,

  
**miss bartow** : YOURE M U C H HOTTER THAN HIM

  
**little lion** : E W

  
**miss** **bartow** : AND SO WE HAPPENED AND WE ARE STILL HAPPENING?? IDK HOW ITS NICE THO

  
**little lion** : okay so while this has been hilariously amazing

  
**little lion** : I'm scared of what the word "happening" implies and I am going now

  
**miss bartow** : goodbye alex

  
\---

  
**little lion** : THIS IS A VERY ME CHARGED DAY

  
**laf** : wHAT

  
**little lion** : IM BASICALLY SHERLOCK HOLMES WITH THIS SHIT

  
**more like HUNKules** : SO YOU FOUND OUT

  
**little lion** : I HAVE THE TEXTS FROM MISS BARTOW TO PROVE IT

  
**johnn** : WAIT YOU TALKED TO HER

  
**little lion** : YEAH SHES LIKE SUPER HUMAN TOO

  
**laf** : WAIT REALLY

  
**little lion** : YEAH SHE TYPES IN ALL CAPS AND EVERYTHING

  
**laf** : holy shit

  
**johnn** : holy shit

**more like HUNKules** : holy shit

  
\---

  
**aaron colder than ice** : WHY DID YOU TELL THEM

  
**miss bartow** : BECAUSE ITS FUNNY WHEN YOU TRY TO HIDE THINGS FROM THEM TO ACT TOUGH

  
**aaron colder than ice** : ITS THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP MYSELF FROM BECOMING THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THIS WHOLE OFFICE

  
**miss bartow** : IM P SURE THEYRE ALL TERRIFIED OF ME SO LIKE YOURE IN THE CLEAR DEAR

  
**aaron colder than ice** : IF WE'RE NOT IM QUITTING IM NOT JOKING 

  
**miss bartow** : I

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first time that the ot4 hasn't been in every part of this


End file.
